Competition Time!

Don’t Call Me Dave is offering an as yet undetermined prize to the reader who can answer the following question most succinctly. Why is mobile phone company EE such shit?

“Because it is”, whilst technically correct, is not sufficiently creative to win.

DCMD is the judge and jury and his decision, however irrational, is final.

How to wipe your arse

Don’t Call Me Dave despairs. He recently purchased a packet of Andrex toilet tissue which contained instructions for use printed on the reverse of the packet.

Is this really necessary?

Have we become so dumbed down as a society that we cannot be trusted to perform a basic bodily function without  illustrated instructions?

If any aliens from outer space are monitoring our planet, they would be forced to conclude that there is no intelligent life on Earth.